It does not fail that every time I sit down to my computer to write, I get interrupted and sidetracked by the demands of home and motherhood. It’s like the house is screaming at me…. that I haven’t cleaned it enough and it’s not perfect yet. My kids suddenly want my undivided attention for whatever reason….which is usually because mom is busy or trying to take a break and get some “mommy time”. Suddenly I have guilt for not doing laundry or cleaning some other corner of my house right that minute and I “fall for it” every time.
I’ve Neglected Myself
I haven’t forgotten this special place to share my thoughts, ideas and creativity….I’ve just neglected myself. I haven’t told myself that it’s okay to take some time for myself and tonight I’m feeling it. It seems like when you don’t offer yourself a creative outlet, emotions build up inside you without you even realizing it and then after a few weeks go by, you start to not feel like yourself. Sometimes you have “outbursts” and aren’t very nice to your family or friends. Sometimes you even feel like you just need to go buy something new to perk you up….. but really what you need is time for yourself to just be you! Just be creative, or lazy for a moment or make something that doesn’t get eaten or destroyed after 2 minutes….. (ya know what I mean?:) I know a lady that loved to weed her garden when her children were younger….she explained that it was the only thing she could do that didn’t get “undone” for a week! I understand!!!
Being a mother is no easy job!
So tonight I gave myself permission to just be me, and take a moment and “write”, because I love to write and it gives me a creative outlet that feeds my soul. I also love to sew, but at the moment, my sewing room is “under clutter deconstruction”…..if you know what I mean! I’m doing a major clean out in there and it’s not quite done….so instead of just “cleaning” more tonight….I’m actually relaxing and writing!….and that’s okay!!!
When was the last time you gave yourself a break? When did you give yourself a chance to be creative? What are the things that feed your soul? Have you ever considered what’s inside of you that is being neglected?
I had an experience one time that opened my mind to what was lying deep inside me. I had a friend take me to a specialty quilt shop in a town not far from where we live and when I walked inside I was overcome with all these emotions of excitement and creativity that I didn’t even know was in me! I think we spent at least an hour or more in this little quilt shop, but every moment was thrilling to me. It fed my soul in a way that I didn’t even know was possible! I was completely awestruck with the beautiful fabric and with each breath I felt the creativity in me begin to build and grow. I didn’t even know I liked fabric that much, but when I walked in there…..it was like this creative flower inside of me that was badly wilted and nearly dead, suddenly got a deep soaking of water for the soul! It also felt like I was soaking up sunshine for the deepest darkest corner inside of me that felt neglected and sad. It was a true blessing to me. I think I bought an apron pattern book that day and some fabric, and I made a few aprons after that. I can’t tell you what a blessing that was to me! It was like “finding myself” again.
I fanned the embers of my creative personality that were long neglected and I found myself again.
Sometimes being a mom means setting everything aside for awhile….and we should. Our children truly need all of us and the best of us, but being the best also means feeding your soul. It means trying to get enough sleep. It means giving yourself time to pray and read your scriptures or a book that enlightens your mind and helps you become better. It means that it’s okay to be creative and do something for yourself when you can. It doesn’t mean neglecting everything in the name of creativity. It means finding the right balance for you so that you can be your best and not get burned out.
So to all of you moms out there, decide what it is that feeds your soul…. decide what it is that you need most right now….is it sleep? Is it a creative outlet? Is it a hot bath without children banging on the door? Talk to someone you love about what it is that you need and make a plan for yourself. Put yourself on “the list”. You are so much more important than you could ever imagine! Take care of yourself so that you are a better YOU!
All my best….(You Moms Rock!)